Kaye Adams

02/02/2009

What would the doyenne of loose talk say to her 16-year-old self?

At 16 I was a bit of a conundrum. I was very serious and I worried a lot and took my exams very seriously but I could also be a complete joker and a bit of a gob on a stick.

I wasn’t in any way confident with boys. When you get to 16 you have to consider these things and I wasn’t that keen on that. In fact I went to an all girls school for one year, in sixth year, and I liked that, it took away all the pressure. I could still just be me and not have to appeal to a male audience. I did have boyfriends but I was never going to be the girl that all the boys fancied.

I would tell my younger self to relax. I felt real academic pressure- what was going to become of me? At that age you think everything is make of break, do or die, and then you find out its not. Then again, that intense feeling is part of growing up and I think its an important thing to go through and helps you understand who you are.

I would try to convince the young Kaye to accept that it’s impossible to control your career. I begin to realise that when I decided political journalism wasn’t for me. I didn’t like the atmosphere or the people who populated that world. Now I look back on some of the things I’ve done – Loose Women for example, it’s just so not me in terms of how I see myself. But I thoroughly enjoyed it. I’m glad I didn’t stick to my early, narrow view of what Kaye was. 

Having children has radically changed my ambitions. Now I don’t have as much time to think about myself. I came late to motherhood (Kaye was 38) and so many people said they assumed I’d never wanted children but actually that’s not true. The desire just hadn’t hit me. When it did hit it I realised I’d become very bored of myself and my self-obsession.

The Vagina Monologues is a prime example of me doing something I never thought I’d do. I’ve been asked before and said no and I’m not even entirely comfortable with the piece. But the offer came in and I thought, you know what, it’s not something I’ve ever done, I’ll be terrified and that’s a healthy thing. I’ll give it my best shot.

Kaye Adams will appear in The Vagina Monologues at the Edinburgh Playhouse from February 16-21.