Rhona Cameron

21/05/2009

Scots funnywoman talks us through her troubled teenage years

At 16 I was starting to come out of a very troubled time. My father, whom I adored, died when I was 14 and I was in a very bad place afterwards, feeling alone, mixed up about my sexuality, and with no sibling to talk to. I was a pretty damaged child.  

Lots of important breakthroughs came for me at 16. The scary kids left school, I was discovering a talent for art, and I had a great new group of friends. Even though they were all very cool and middle class and I was very working class and square in my school uniform with a clean hanky always in my pocket, they accepted me for who I really was.

I wish I could go back and tell myself not to break up with my first boyfriend. He was a lovely guy who made me feel very protected and I broke his heart to go off with another damaged, messed up girl, out of pure lust. I’m adopted, we have a history of destroying things that are good for us. It set me off on the wrong path, into years of bad co-dependent relationships.

I would make sure the teenage Rhona didn’t sabotage her chance of going to art college. I got a conditional acceptance which was a huge deal – my mum was so proud, my art teacher was too – but I just wasn’t able to concentrate to pass the exams, I totally blew it. And then I was aimless and off my head drinking for years.

I have lots of regrets about how I dealt with life, how I kept ruining my own chances of happiness, how it’s taken me 40 years to sort myself out – and I needed therapy to do it. But I did find a way to use my creativity and it turned out to be stand-up comedy. I always knew I was a good talker but when I worked as a salesperson in Australia I realised I had a bit of a gift for it.

It would be good to tell my younger self that one day I will feel better. I feel as if, since I started writing books and stopped drinking, my work as an artist has just begun. I’ve made some mistakes, appeared on some shite gameshows, I never had a clue about money - I could have lived in a ranch by now, instead of a modest flat in London, if I’d focussed and got it together. But hey, I’m still here.

Interview: Jane Graham